Walls of thoughts everywhere around me, every morning, all day. You surround me all day with the same prison, before bed, thought, when I wake, thought. When will I find a wife, make a family? Need to sell the house. I am unhappy at work. Same wall everyday, groundhog day.

How is it so that you stand still, there every morning and every evening in defiance of physics? The world around me moves outwards and inwards, expanding, deteriorating. Physics is doing it’s thing still. But god damn you, like a giant mountain you stand still, unwilling to move, sometimes like a silent witness in the background, sometimes in my face, sometimes quiet but present, and sometimes screaming at me like a punk band.

Black turns to grey as my autumn arrives, deep lines etch themselves on my face along what used to be plump wetlands, and joints creak and crack under the slightest pressure. I can’t even see the face of my lover well, and yet, you, thought, like a crowing cock show up everyone morning.

I have flown planes to far away places. I have meditated long hours. I have prayed and cried. Made friends and lost them. Seen wars begin and end. But darn you thought, you are still there in the morning. Did you miss me, you say? Do you not get tired? Run out of energy? Don’t you have a life span?

I’ve imagined myself a mental mechanic the other day, a career I invented just for you. A dismantler of thought. I tried to undo you from the inside out. It didn’t work out. So I unleashed other thoughts on you. I then tried to coax you gently. Nothing seems to work.

What are you? Who are you? why do you chase me day and night?

God, get out of my head.